NEWS

Garth Brooks is Leaving Nashville: “I Get No Respect in This Town”

Garth Brooks, one of the celebrity victims of the woke mind virus, says he’s leaving Nashville for the greener pastures of Hollywood.

“I get no respect in this town,” said Brooks, who has lost his recording contracts, watched as his new bar fell flat on its face, and had his lucrative Vegas residency canceled, “They’re all a bunch of bigoted a-holes.”

There he goes again, patriots, repeating what he said that got him into all this ruckus in the first place. These woke celebrities just never learn.

“We’re not concerned about Brooks leaving town,” said Nashville Mayor Joe Barron, “we have plenty of real country artists, bars, and fans. If he wants to be an outcast, he can go.”

ALLOD Entertainment Correspondelator Tara Newhole says the reports may be exaggerated: “Garth and his wife own a 300-acre paradise just outside the city. It seems unlikely that they’d leave over some stories about Garth losing everything.”

Newhole says that in reality, the couple is worth nearly half a billion dollars and couldn’t possibly care less what a bunch of geriatric potatoes think about them. “They get their news from liberal trolls,” said Newhole, “They share the dumb story, click through to the website, scan for three keywords that confirm their bias, and skip away to a shiny ad based on their Google search preferences.”

AARP has repeatedly warned the taters that nearly everything they believe about social issues comes from satire sites that are openly mocking them, but they don’t seem to mind. “I hope and pray that it’s all true,” said Shirley from Pahrump, “And that’s all that matters to me. God Bless America.”

Related Posts

Old Lady Pretends to Be Dead to Determine Her Heir among Her Children — Story of the Day

An old woman with estranged kids decides to pull a nasty prank on them to see who was worthy enough to inherit her wealth. Agatha Stones was dying,…

My Boyfriend Proposed to Me Only 3 Months after We Met — I Was over the Moon until I Found Out Why

Ava and Ethan’s instant connection sparks a whirlwind romance filled with dreamy dates and heartfelt conversations. Just three months later, Ethan proposes, and Ava’s over the moon. But…

I Shared a Taxi Ride with a Strange Woman and Was Shocked to Find Out Where She Was Going

When Heather arrives home from taking care of her mother, all she wants to do is plan a romantic dinner for her husband, Hayden. But fate has something…

Man in Walmart Demanded That I Give up My Wheelchair for His Tired Wife – Karma Got Him before I Could

I never expected a trip to Walmart would turn into a showdown over my wheelchair, with a stranger demanding I give it up for his tired wife. As…

My MIL and Her Friends Ate Our $1000 Wedding Cake the Night before Our Wedding, So I Taught Her a Lesson

I was heartbroken and furious when I discovered my mother-in-law Linda and her friends had devoured my $1000 wedding cake. I couldn’t believe they would intentionally ruin my…

Our Granddaughter Sent Us a Note with Disgusting Text Demanding $5000 — So We Decided to Teach Her a Lesson

When my granddaughter Sarah’s wedding plans took an unexpected turn, my husband Jim and I were forced to confront her shocking sense of entitlement. What began as excitement…